P007

Just want to say: I do get worried/stressed/anxious.

I've been told that I seem like the type of person with no problems in the world whatsoever. 


Which is NOT true. 

I DO have problems. 

It's just that I DON'T like whining about them.

Which is not so good because what happens is that the worry/stress/anxiety will get all bottled up before it's too much and I would find myself waking up in the middle of the night in a panic attack. 

WHY do I not like whining/sharing/confiding/whatever about my problems? 

I feel...vulnerable.

I see them as I sign of weakness.


Which is stupid.

I know.

I know.

But it's not something I can just NOT do.

It's been that way for...a long time.

Sometimes I'll get a panic attack while walking to my dorm from class. Or even during class.



I think another reason is that I want to be that kind of person that people can depend on. 

That my friends can depend on.

And...


I guess I'm not doing a good job.